Essay Feedback

'Natalie

Some very interesting points here with lots to follow up if you wanted to. The whole subject of the web how it’s effecting the changing nature of fashion is an interesting subject and you could take it down a number of different paths:
1) The sociology of fashion. Look @ how the internet is changing the whole idea of ‘peer’ led fashion. As lookbook and facebook change what ‘peers’ means so ideas of influence change. Maybe consider the changing face of peer-led fashion from ‘friends’ to ‘facebook frends’. More Bauman ( Liquid Modernity esp) would help.
2) psychoanalysis. In particular, the obsession with the fetish of the virtual. Increasingly, it could be argued, we’re becoming more attuned to fetishising the virtual. But has this always been the case. Jacques Lacan’s idea of the petit objet a might merit a read here.
3) institutional critique (Marxism perhaps): how fashion uses the web to create new systems of consumption and production. The Frankfurt School (esp. Adorno) will help you find the language with which to take on more advanced states of capitalist production.
Generally, I liked the essay. But I do wonder if you’re heart really isn’t in it at times. If you’re interested in identity and fashion in cyberculture, say so. I think sometimes the essay tended to veer off and enter new areas (clearly define your terms ‘virtual’ ‘online’ and ‘cyber’ they’re not the same thing).
I would recommend a mark in the high 60s. It is well written and the reading shows evidence of an intelligent reading of cybercultures. I think we’re still not stuck on a clear method yet, but there’s time to develop this.
Lots of potential here Natalie, we just need to think about where we could take it.'

I agree with Toby, that my heart wasn't in it. I chose the subject out of desperation, almost, as time was running out. There were other things from different lectures which interested me more. Fairly pleased with a high 60, although obviously a first is essentially what I want. There are some interesting points that I could follow up, however I'm not sure my dissertation could lead on from this essay, as I dont think it could hold my interest enough.